Im back! yay! idol recap time! woo hoo!
SOOOO tonight is the "fun baby pictures and random 80's songs" themed episode right? AWESOME theme. It is actually technically called "year they were born" which is so lame compared to my title. Im honestly not that excited about this night... it just always seems that they commit song-choice-suicide with this episode every year. Lets find out shall we?
Paula even looks crazy as a small child. Im in love for real. If i had one wish... God preschool with her would have been AWESOME! like what would she have brought for show and tell? Her mom's Zanyex? If only if only.
Danny Gokey AKA We Get It, His Wife is Dead - "Stand By Me"
He smiles really creepy when he sings, imma just say it. This arrangement is horrible, the band is in freaky calypso land, and his voice is annoyingly more raspy than usual. But i verbily actually literally YELLED when they showed Paula dancing. I went "OH! OH Paula!" and had to pause for laughter. Good job on that part Danny. His vocals were really good for him, especially the last 30 seconds or so. But the song choice? Really? Stand by me? Really. to quote my sister "His wife didnt." (get it? she isnt alive? too much? i know its inappropriate, yell at schen not me) 6.0 out of 10.
Kris Allen AKA The Cute Guy Whose Name You Still Cant Remember - "All She Wants to Do is Dance"
So in the "cute baby pics and shit" intro they revealed he used to dream of being a taxi cab driver. His mom said that they would have been thrilled if it was what he wanted and the dad made a hilarious face and said something to the effect of "i dont know about that" which i found hilarious. but back to the singing. Iin the first couple lines he needed to back up a few inches from the mic. And am i the only one who found the circle of underage groupies awkward? like... they ENCIRCLED him in very close proximity while screaming. Weird. I thought the song was way too short, it was over in a blink. I liked his vocals but not that exciting for me. and you didnt make paula dance on a song about dancing. 3 point deduction for that sonny. 4.5 out of 10.
Is it just me or is Paula kind of disappointingly normal and boring tonight? hmmmm
Lil Rounds AKA The Token You Know What - "Whats Love Got to do With It?"
ARE YOU FIUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?! her name is ACTUALLY Lil? ACTUALLY? like on her birth certificate? I. am. speechless. Now to the singing... i think she is going home. i know we are only 3 peole into tonight but i just cant imagine America letting this slide. It was really bad. And scary. Like her facials were wild and way over the top. Sorry "Lil" but i just dont think its gonna work out. nice pleather mini skirt though, A+ to the stylists. But D- for Lil Rounds. 2.9 out of 10.
** Crazy Paula Counter: Dancing while seated - 1, Dancing while standing - 1, Any action interesting and or funny - 0 :( **
Anoop Desai AKA Okay Ill Finally Make a Slumdog Millionaire Reference - "True Colors"
Ooooo only child, that explains a lot. I actually liked it in the first 5 seconds which means a lot. I love this song too, and im glad he did such a nice job with it. I used to listen to it a lot and pretend she was singing to all the gays of the world (YAY IOWA AND VERMONT! Adam and I will come visit soon to hug you!). Its a great song and i cant believe i actually LIKED Anoop this week. Yeah, if he still thinks he wants to be an R&B artist i wanna hit him. Great job buddy - 7.4 out of 10.
Scott MacIntyre AKA Blind Guy- "The Search is Over"
Baby Scottie wanted to be a train engineer.... you know... the guy who drives trains.... anyone? anybody? do you see what im trying to say here? Like, do you think he would have made a good driver, of trians? Thats all im saying. Moving on.... OMG is that a guitar? Holy shit, wheres the piano? i cant process all this. Now is he going to play it or hold it? There we go. Um, his vocals were a little shaky, like his voice is wobbling A LOT. Maybe its nerves cuz he doesnt have hsi piano crutch. This is really not good, AH no no no no falcetto buddy, just stop. Please. He can go instead of Lil. Please leave my TV screen Mr. Train conductor. 1.3 out of 10.
PAULA. what is wrong with you tonight!?!?! Why are you so boring? Like not even a classic "one hand over the head waving to the music" move? nothing? No sporadic possibly epileptic head movements? No long critiques with words way out of your vocabulary's league? Im confused.
Allison Iraheta AKA That Isnt Her Natural Hair Color Is It? Girl - "I Cant Make You Love Me"
Wait... she is hispanic? I kind of knew but not really until now. Im embarassed. I really enjoy her when she sings like this. Its sexy mature woman but still girly cute. Like if i could date her voice without dating her and her leather skort i TOTALLY would. I like that she controlled her voice and didnt belt out like she usually does. And because of tha tthe beutiful subtle tones of her voice really shone. Especially on the lower notes when she went into her chest voice and rumbled in a raspy way. Mmmmmm. Overall it was restrained, poetic, and sensitive. 8.5 out of 10.
** Crazy Paula Counter: Dancing while seated - 2, Dancing while standing - 1, Any action interesting and or funny - still 0 :( **
Matt Giraud AKA I still cant spell his last name right - "Part-Time Lover"
WHAT? May 11th? he stole my birthday! Asshole. Anyway... Oh no. I dont like this at all. The intro was rough until the band joined in. Once the band got there it was better, I love me some funk. His vocals arent the gretest tonight but he really did stick to his genre. I can see him carving out a niche for himself in that j-timb funky soulful pop and i like it. He had some major slips but the ending note was very nice. And he is looking sharp. ill give it a 5.2 out of 10. the hat gets a 9.3
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WHAT THE HELL TIVO??!?!?!??! are you serious right now!?!??!?!?! Omg omg omg. Because FOX doesnt know how to fucking add up minutes into an hour (there are 60 you assholes) my tivo didnt catch the ending of the show. Cuz they ran over. And tivo failed me. OMG. If i dont get to see Adam's baby pictures in the next five minutes so help me God.......
Please stand by for technical dificulties.
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sigh. okay so i found a blog or somehting that has one of the baby pics and the video of the song, which i GUESS is good enough but im still not happy about it. here we go.
Adam Lambert AKA The Messiah Reincarnate - "Mad World"
Baby Adam and his mickey mouse guitar just stole my heart. What a cutie! But we knew that already. Now folks, if you werent hopping on my Adam Lambert bandwagon before tonight, i still have plenty of seats left for you. Cuz you gotta get on it now. I mean did you HEAR that!??!?! Adam's voice is like whoa (my love is like whoa is now playing in your head). He started getting a litte over the top but calmed it down which was a relief. I first fell in love with this song when Marcie put it on the Utah Mix 2 CD she burned me last spring. I couldnt wait to hear him sing and and he rocked it. Adam really did make it his own (as much as he could in 2 minutes). I just..... i just LOVE HIM!!!!! Like i said, he and i are going to road trip it to eaither Iowa or Vermont now that we can marry each other legally. Wait..... anyway. amazing job my sweet sweet perfect Adam. 9.7 out of 10. I LOVE YOU!
** Crazy Paula Counter: Dancing while seated - 2, Dancing while standing - 2, Any action
interesting and or funny - still a big fat 0 :( **
Okay so maybe Paula read my blog last week (it is getting really popular, you know) and she got self-conscious. And adjusted her meds. In that case....
Dear Paula,
If youre reading this, which you probably are cuz its like world famous, i have a few things to say. First, know that we all love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Though we may joke about youre insanity we really just love it. Its interesting and hilarious and basically the reason 89% of us watch the show. Please dont repress youre badass dance moves and Webster-Dictionary-loving critiques because we joke here and there. Second, you dont need perscription drugs to fix you. Except if they are the wrong ones and just make you crazier. Those are totally still allowed. So either stop taking what youre on, increase the dosage exponentially, or buy some random pills in a dark alleyway before next week's show. And third, if you ever need to talk about whats been going on with you this week just let me know. Im always here for you. This show is the best thing you have done since youre 80's aerobic workout videos. We love you Paula and want you to feel better soon. (We also want to get physical, physical.)
Xoxo, Gossip Girl (wait.... i mean Erica)
Sigh. Well Abdul disappointment aside i think tonight's episode was a-okay. I still think its a horrible theme (nothing beats populat itunes downloads week) but there were some highlights (ADAM EFFING LAMBERT). Until next time....
...Bon Appetit!
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