HEEYYYYY. hey there. hello. im so tired ugh but you people make me do this (shhh i actually enjoy it but its kind of geeky to admit you like to blog so im trying to act cool. is it working? it think it totally is).
Ryan is a midget. Hahahahha i dont like that man.
Its the top 5! woo hoo! Is this the week i count up how many times paula uses 4 syllable words? Or maybe its the week i match up everyone to their cooridnating backstreet boy? (you know which one is lance....) What crazy shinanagins do i have in store this week? Lets find out!
Oh its the Rat Pack Week? Really? Wow this is gonna be one of those boring nights huh? And Jamie Foxx is a chump. Im not a fan, so im going to pretend he doesnt exist this week. And when do they start singing 2 songs? cuz only 5 songs is going to make this a short very boring blog. They used to have 2 each in the top 5, what the hell happened FOX? Sigh. Dont expect greatness from me this week. I dont dare to blog in the path of greatness.
Kris Allen AKA People Finally Know Who He Is - "The Way You Look Tonight"
Awww he is adorable, i see it now. Wow he really can sing, But it seemed short. Why dont they let them sing longer songs now? i mean if you think about it, theres only 5 people and they have a whole hour. im a little confused. But back to K-Dizzle - he was good, sounded sweet, had some little bumps but i think it was kind of boring. Meh. Nice job but not my fav. 5.2 out of 10.
Allison Iraheta AKA On the Edge of Seventeen - "Someone to Watch Over Me"
She freaking reminds me of kelly clarkson, for real. WOW i really really really liked it this week. Im completley amazed and impressed. I could tell from the first two lines that she was going to reserve and hold back until the end for a better climax. HOLLA for someone knowing the importance of dynamics. And her raspyness made the words seem so much sweeter, and she sounded much more mature than 17. She knows how to perform, that is for damn sure. Nice job Allison Iraheta. 8.7 out of 10.
Sidenote- love the outfits so far this week
OMG its almost half over now..... and i have nothing to count from Paula. Im sorry fans, i dont know if there will be a crazy paula counter this week!!!! Maybe next week. I am starting to think that Paula might actually be an intellegent person. Like some of these statements this week are well composed. Maybe someone is finaly prewriting things for her. OR aliens have taken over her body. Paula has been invaded! Oh no! We must save her!
Matt Giraud AKA He goes home this week sorry to ruin the suprise - "My Funny Valentine"
The hats need to stop. I know his hair and ears make him look a little doofish but come on. Like its just enough already. Oooo its pitchy. He is not doing well. And he alternates between this wierd deep talking voice thing to a wobbly forced raspy singing to a quiet offkey falsetto. NOT GOOD. not okay. im so over it. yay for him leaving. Bye bye matt. 2.4 out of 10.
Omg paula quit touching Simon its creepy. Hahah her words make sense but she is still a nut case. But i do think Paula has been comprimised. Maybe Simon has something to do with it.
Danny Gokey AKA The annoying one with glasses and a goatee - "Come Rain or Come Shine"
So im going to be nice to Danny this week cuz i made fun of his dead wife and feel bad about it. Dead wives are a serious thing and its very painful and shouldnt be laughed at. If i had a wife and she died i would be sad. So i will no longer be making fun of his dead wife. He did REALLY well this week, like i super super super loved it. In the beginning he did his douche bag Gokey Grin that was so overwhelmingly enraging. But then he got like INTO IT and was scream singing and throwing the mic around saying "yeah yeah" a lot and i was so there. im so there danny. Congrats, i dont hate your singing (THIS WEEK). 8.9 out of 10.
She just said "Im going to keep this short". WHAT?!?!?! you never keep it short! And her eyes look lifeless.. they arent glossed over in inebriation or shimmer with the magical glow of insanity. They just look like fake robot eyes. PAULA IS A ROBOT!!! where is the real paula??? Maybe her dress hides all the knobs and roboty controls.
Ryan is a midget. Hahahahha i dont like that man.
Its the top 5! woo hoo! Is this the week i count up how many times paula uses 4 syllable words? Or maybe its the week i match up everyone to their cooridnating backstreet boy? (you know which one is lance....) What crazy shinanagins do i have in store this week? Lets find out!
Oh its the Rat Pack Week? Really? Wow this is gonna be one of those boring nights huh? And Jamie Foxx is a chump. Im not a fan, so im going to pretend he doesnt exist this week. And when do they start singing 2 songs? cuz only 5 songs is going to make this a short very boring blog. They used to have 2 each in the top 5, what the hell happened FOX? Sigh. Dont expect greatness from me this week. I dont dare to blog in the path of greatness.
Kris Allen AKA People Finally Know Who He Is - "The Way You Look Tonight"
Awww he is adorable, i see it now. Wow he really can sing, But it seemed short. Why dont they let them sing longer songs now? i mean if you think about it, theres only 5 people and they have a whole hour. im a little confused. But back to K-Dizzle - he was good, sounded sweet, had some little bumps but i think it was kind of boring. Meh. Nice job but not my fav. 5.2 out of 10.
Allison Iraheta AKA On the Edge of Seventeen - "Someone to Watch Over Me"
She freaking reminds me of kelly clarkson, for real. WOW i really really really liked it this week. Im completley amazed and impressed. I could tell from the first two lines that she was going to reserve and hold back until the end for a better climax. HOLLA for someone knowing the importance of dynamics. And her raspyness made the words seem so much sweeter, and she sounded much more mature than 17. She knows how to perform, that is for damn sure. Nice job Allison Iraheta. 8.7 out of 10.
Sidenote- love the outfits so far this week
OMG its almost half over now..... and i have nothing to count from Paula. Im sorry fans, i dont know if there will be a crazy paula counter this week!!!! Maybe next week. I am starting to think that Paula might actually be an intellegent person. Like some of these statements this week are well composed. Maybe someone is finaly prewriting things for her. OR aliens have taken over her body. Paula has been invaded! Oh no! We must save her!
Matt Giraud AKA He goes home this week sorry to ruin the suprise - "My Funny Valentine"
The hats need to stop. I know his hair and ears make him look a little doofish but come on. Like its just enough already. Oooo its pitchy. He is not doing well. And he alternates between this wierd deep talking voice thing to a wobbly forced raspy singing to a quiet offkey falsetto. NOT GOOD. not okay. im so over it. yay for him leaving. Bye bye matt. 2.4 out of 10.
Omg paula quit touching Simon its creepy. Hahah her words make sense but she is still a nut case. But i do think Paula has been comprimised. Maybe Simon has something to do with it.
Danny Gokey AKA The annoying one with glasses and a goatee - "Come Rain or Come Shine"
So im going to be nice to Danny this week cuz i made fun of his dead wife and feel bad about it. Dead wives are a serious thing and its very painful and shouldnt be laughed at. If i had a wife and she died i would be sad. So i will no longer be making fun of his dead wife. He did REALLY well this week, like i super super super loved it. In the beginning he did his douche bag Gokey Grin that was so overwhelmingly enraging. But then he got like INTO IT and was scream singing and throwing the mic around saying "yeah yeah" a lot and i was so there. im so there danny. Congrats, i dont hate your singing (THIS WEEK). 8.9 out of 10.
She just said "Im going to keep this short". WHAT?!?!?! you never keep it short! And her eyes look lifeless.. they arent glossed over in inebriation or shimmer with the magical glow of insanity. They just look like fake robot eyes. PAULA IS A ROBOT!!! where is the real paula??? Maybe her dress hides all the knobs and roboty controls.
Simon has turned her into a robot. Damn you Simon!
Adam Lambert AKA If Nutella and Barack Obama had a child it would be as amazing as Adam Lambert - "Feeling Good" (AKA Feeling Gay)
I LOVE YOU oh his little dramatic stairway entry and little shiny white suit. Oh he just makes my day. He is feeling good, looking good, sounding good, uh. Love. He was glowing with amazingness. He started with this beautiful waning airiness, then let his deeper sex voice come out to play. His passion was 8000 times higher than the other contestants this week. Im gonna listen to this song again when they legalize same sex marraige nationally cuz it will fit perfectly. That should be, what, next weekish? But anyway.... Adam, you get a wopping 9.7 out of 10.
Kara is officially a fag-hag (am i allowed to use the f word? i am right? like um since im you know... i think its okay.) she like drools over adam each week. Im gonna send her a note that explains that he is not interested in her. Cuz shes a girl. Sigh.
Hahahaha Adam totally blew a robot cicuit and the real Paula came through a little. Michael Phelps? COME ON. its absurd. "Forever absurd, forever Paula." That should be the name of her perfume line, if she ever gets a perfume line
Well i think this was short but sweet, kind of boring but like there were only 5 songs. i can only pull so much magic out of my ass. im no ass magic magician like Ms. Abdul. Hopefully next week will be more fun. And hopefully Paula will be freed from her new Robot body. So until next time,
Bon Appetit!
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